Boy am I lucky

160.6! Less than a pound above what I need to be, thank goodness! I find it so motivating when I weigh even just a little less than I expect. I expected today to weigh 162, just like last week, because of all the comfort food I've been eating. So this is exciting and I'm completely confident that I'll be safely nestled in the 150s next week at weigh-in.

Breathing a sigh of relief.

Why is this so hard?

Of course, if it were easy, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great.

I have had a super intense sinus infection for about 10 days. Today I feel like I'm starting to get better. We'll see. If I'm not close to 100% by Wednesday, I'm going to get some antibiotics, because this is just miserable. Ugh.

I've learned that when I'm sick, I eat like crap, which undoubtedly extends my period of sickness. (As much as the "organic" "clean" "whole" food movement irks me, I do believe it. Shh...I totally buy into the idea that food can be our greatest medicine or poison. Do I act on that idea? That's another topic and one that I'll probably need some therapy to reconcile, for real.)

Anyway, eating bad while sickness. I think I do this for two reasons. One to self-medicate, and the other is that bad food is just easier to grab and prepare. I mean, if I have no energy and my whole face is pounding with sinus pain, am I going to broil and weigh talapia, then wash, chop and weigh vegetables to make a very nutritious salad, or am I going to microwave a burrito from the freezer? Duh. Healthy eating is work and it takes preparation.

But, today, I am back on the train. I have to be. I just looked at the schedule in my post below, and while I will most likely be a pound or two heavier than I'm supposed to be this Wednesday, I won't be too far off. I feel that my goals are still completely attainable. I also noticed that on February 19th, which is the exact day that Blake turns 6 months old, I am scheduled to be at my pre-pregnancy weight, which is AMAZING. Getting to that weight after Jameson was born took me a full year.

I'm ready to go. I'm envisioning myself at 135 pounds, just in time for Spring, full of energy and proud of the hard work that went in to achieving my goal.

Hi Me, It's Me Again

Back with more baby weight losing adventures.

I mean, Blake was worth it. Sure. And the fatter he gets, the cuter he is. Me, not so much.

So I'm on a low carb diet. Like South Beach Phase 1 all the time, but with portion restrictions. It's no joke. It kicks my butt.

I cheat almost every day, but I've still lost 7 pounds in 6 days.

I was feeling really good and getting the hang of it on day 4 and 5, but then today I made cookies for a neighbor whose daughter was sick and in the hospital. I ate one four and I feel so gross. Sick to my stomach. It was not worth it!

Next time I want to eat junk, I need to remember this feeling. It is not worth it.

My initial concern with the diet was that I wouldn't be eating enough calories and I would lose my milk. I think it did go down in the beginning, but I think my body is starting to trust me again and milk production seems to be fine again. Thank goodness.

After this week, I should lose about 2 pounds a week. From my starting weight, I need to lose 36 pounds. Because I want to be at my wedding weight. I still have never gotten to the Liz Lemon 127 mark, but I felt fantastic with my size on my wedding day, so let's just go back there. Here's my ideal timeline:

Jan 1: 171
Jan 8: 163
Jan 15: 161
Jan 22: 159
Jan 29 157
Feb 5: 155
Feb 12: 153
Feb 19: 151
Feb 26: 149
March 5: 147
March 12: 145
March 19: 143
March 26: 141
April 2: 139
April 9: 137
April 16: 135

Then maintain forever. ha.

Think of it this way. If you are at your wedding weight next time you get pregnant, then gain 36 pounds during the pregnancy, you would weigh at delivery what you weighed on Day 1.

I really want this. It has to happen.

I will achieve it by making every day count. I think people say that a lot and don't really think about what it means. To me, this means waking up with purpose every single day with objectives and plans. I am not nearly Type A as I need to be right now. My house is very disorganized, I am behind on my scripture reading, and my kids don't have a firm schedule. Even my weekly housekeeping schedule has gone out the window. It's time to get cracking. It's time to be disciplined.

Which brings me to my motto of 2014:

It's ok to care. It's good to care, actually. I'm going to care every day and not make it any secret that I'm trying. I want to try so hard that I'm tired at night from all the trying. I want to try so hard that when I mess up, it's ok because I know I'm trying. I want to close each day of this year knowing that I acted like I gave a damn that day.

Let's go!