one thing i am trying to figure out

ok, i'm trying to figure out a lot of things. obviously.

but, one thing that really bugs me about myself is my tendency to binge when i'm unhappy with my weight loss progress.

it's seems so counter intuitive, right? "i'm not losing weight fast enough so i'm going to eat more crap food."

*sigh*

i do this more than i'd like to admit.

i got the itch again today. i wanted to go out an get a cupcake. i drive by the cupcake place on my way to the gym every day and today i was thinking if i was good all day, i could go get a cupcake in the afternoon.

well. then i weighed myself and i haven't lost any weight since monday. i know that was only two days ago, but for some reason this made me furious and i wanted to eat everything. in. sight.

luckily i had the presence of mind to stop myself, but why did i want to do that?

is it just because i'm thinking, "well i obviously am incapable of losing weight so i might as well eat what i like."

or does the letdown of my slow progress make me reach for the junk food because the short rush of sugar makes me feel happy, if only for a minute?

i honestly don't know. i don't know if it is just a psychological reaction or part of a chemical addiction to food.

i think a lot of women have these tendencies, but i don't think we ALL do. and i don't think we HAVE to.

i don't have an answer right now. just something i have noticed and have been thinking about lately.